Just went down to the laundry. Opened the drier. Shat myself. Someone had fucking died in there. Shat myself again, it was worse than that. Red fucking Crayola fucking crayon got in with the white clothes. Fucking red shitting wax all over the bastarding clothes and all over the arsesniffing inside of the cockwiping drier. It's like a fucking Sam Raimi film in there. Jesus felchsnorting Christ I could bollockstretching scream.
I have a friend who loves to argue Justin Timberlake > Elvis Presley. Now, he's not really old enough to remember The King at the height of his Kingness (and I'm not really either, but I always go old school > new school). I know you're old school but you appreciate new things. Thoughts on this argument? In terms of overall entertainment personas?
I am a huge fan of Justin Timberlake but I can’t get behind the theory that he’s a better entertainer than Elvis was. JT is slick where Elvis was more…raw. Less theatrical. Less pomp. And I like that.
I had a cousin with 6 fingers on one hand. He had to wear mittens in the winter. So sad.
I’m sorry was I not supposed to laugh at this?
Remember that time you got up, went to your kitchen, grabbed a couple of coffee pods and brought them to the stairs where I greeted you and took them from you and then made myself some coffee? Good times. Can we do that again? Like, now?
FINE. MAKE ME SOME COOKIES.
What thing do you currently own that every time you look at or use it you are taking back to the moment you first had it?
My wedding ring. Every time I look at it I think about the moment Todd slipped it on my finger and I smile. Sometimes I’m still surprised it’s there.
Hi. I have a story for you! I grew up in the Bay Area. Before high school I went to a sports camp and one of the other guys in camp was Mike, son of John Madden. But my best friend there was Tony, same last name, no relation. We had our names printed on our camp t-shirts so the coaches could yell at us by name. When we went to the roller coaster park people kept asking me if Tony was John Madden's son, and I would say "no, he's over there." Which confused the hell out of everyone. Th'end.
Just gonna leave this here. Any John Madden story is a good story.
Who are your favorite running character(s) in a novel series? I like Stephanie Plum and Kay Scarpetta.
I haven’t read a continuing series novel in a long time, but when I did, Kay Scarpetta was my favorite.
Another one was John Corey from a series of Nelson DeMille novels.
Any suggestions for series? I wouldn’t mind getting back into doing that kind of reading.
Hi Michelle! Wanna talk sports? How are you feeling about the potential World Series match ups? Any thoughts on the 2013 football season?
I’m rooting against the Red Sox. But no matter who wins the AL pennant, I’m going to end up hate watching the World Series. I can’t root for the Cards, I have no feelings for the Tigers and it will be the end of the world as we know it before I root for the Red Sox to win a coin toss, much less the World Series.
When Al Davis said “Just win, baby” he didn’t specify how many wins. With this rag tag team, two Raiders wins feels like a good start to the season.
HI! I want someone to do a study with identical twins, where one twin is involved in Scientology, and the other is not. I think it would be fascinating to see what the differences would be, if any, to "regular" twins. It could never be done thought, I would think, because of the secrecy of COS and both sides would have to have controls and be willing to participate, but that right there skews any results that could be gotten. Maybe you could write a story of some fictional twins like this.
This is a pretty fascinating subject.
I always wanted to write about twins in some kind of creepy story but every time I think about creepy twins I either get stuck on The Shining or this really weird scene from the book The Other. I don’t think you can write about twins without making it creepy. Unless it’s that Disney movie. Which, if watched while on acid, had creepy undertones.
What's your favorite cookie? Did you know male sugargliders have two penises (penii?) and females have two uteruses (can we go with uterii?). Write something you wish you had said to your worst high school teacher. Hi.
1. Snickerdoodles. And now I wish I had some. Actually, I wish I had any cookies. HELLO SISTER UPSTAIRS DO YOU HAVE COOKIE MAKING INGREDIENTS?
2. Sugarglider porn must be really interesting. When they have threesomes is it really a sixsome?
3. “THERE IS NO GOD.” (to Sister Elizabeth)