I may be an atheist but I still consider myself a spiritual person, and TJ is most definitely my spiritual leader.
It started with the decision to go ahead with plans to quit my job. Real plans. Concrete plans, with a time frame. Not some silly fantasy about leaving the pit of despair. It’s real. And I am not panicking about it.
I was confrontational at work today. While that may not sound like a good thing to you, it is to me because I back down from every confrontation in a misguided effort to keep the peace and make sure everyone is happy and peaceful. Something happened today that irritated the fuck out of me and I confronted the person who did it instead of just bitching about it to myself and feeling crappy about it all day.
I have a tendency to second guess myself and/or not trust myself. This morning I wasn’t sure if that thing I wrote about Slap Shot was good enough or interesting enough and normally when I feel like that, I would ask several people what they thought of it and then make my decision based on their opinions. Today, I said fuck it and just went ahead and posted it because I liked it.
I just spent $200 to go see a band. I never do things like that. I rarely spend money on myself without freaking out about it long enough until the point becomes moot. I figured if I spent the night thinking about it, the tickets would be gone in the morning and then the decision would be taken out of my hands. And then I said “What the fuck. Why don’t you ever do anything for yourself?” And I grabbed my credit card and went for it.
I didn’t work out tonight and I didn’t automatically think OH MY GOD ALL THE WEIGHT I LOST IS GOING TO COME BACK BECAUSE I SKIPPED A NIGHT. And I ate two slices of pizza. And I’m ok with that.
I’m pretty ok with myself today.
I forgot to do my favorite part yesterday and it’s important enough to do it this morning.
It had to do with my sister and this post. Most of it is personal. You may not know what it took for her to write that out and put it out there. And she herself may not see it, but she’s come a long way in the past year and I’m proud of her for getting up and moving forward.
Had a girls breakfast with my mom, aunt and sisters. Played with the new camera. Napped. Watched a movie and half while Todd slept off the effects of overseas travel. Made a decent dinner. Ate some ice cream. Hit the treadmill. Felt really proud of Team Burrito Babes. Snuggled while watching awful Sunday television.
My favorite part of today was today.
I forgot to do my favorite parts from yesterday but I think it went without saying.
This favorite parts of the day thing - started by TJ - is a really good exercise. It makes me focus on the good things that happened instead of dwelling on whatever caused me grief during the work day.
Some days seem to have no good parts. Some days are stress from start to finish. But there’s always this. This dependable, every day moment when we get on the couch and let the day go and finally exhale. The moment where I look next to me and think that no matter how draining and exhausting the day is, there will be this at night. There will be this moment. There will be this guy.
There will be a favorite part.
1. goat cheese
2. xanax
today was fucking draining so I’m guessing number three on this list can’t be written because it will happen when i’m finally asleep.
“I mean, what would you do if you were in your car and all of a sudden there was this huge cow tongue coming in the window?”
“I would…”
“I’d spread my legs!”
No matter how much you love vacation, it’s always good to be back home.
Is right now, sprawled out in Todd’s parents living room in my jammies, covered in a warm blanket, feeling completely at home in someone else’s house 3,000 miles away from mine. I am wound down, de-stressed and relaxed. This is how you do vacation.
2nd favorite part: the text from my son that made me realize he is actually taking responsibility for getting his term paper handed in on time.
3rd favorite: the text from my daughter about her ear falling off (and also the text where she reprimanded me for sending too many “how are things at home” texts to her while I’m supposed to be enjoying my vacation).